Reality

What is reality ? In the dictionary it is said that reality is: "the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them ". What I like about this definition, is that not only, does it define reality, but it says what reality is not. During this times, sitting a home, I started reading Principles by Ray Dalio, and one of those principles was ACCEPT REALITY AND DEAL WITH IT. The first thing that came to my mind was, pfuuu, this is easy. But as soon as I started to think about it, I realized that, I myself, am not accepting reality as it is. How or why you may ask. Well, I discovered that I don't really like it when things don't go my way or when I have to admit I made a mistake. What do I mean by that? What I mean is that, it is hard for me, and not only for me, but for all of us, I think, to accept the things as they are, we want the world to be as we want it to be, but that's impossible.For example: I want this person to be this way. Guess what, that person is the way he/she is, and you can't change that about him or her. You are not good at something, even if you want to admit that or not, reality stays the same.

Thus, the question arises. What to do ?

Well, the answer is pretty simple, and we as a species have done this for millions and millions of years. The answer is, we need to adapt .

How do we adapt?

Well, firstly, we have to see things as they are. This may be a difficult thing, because of our emotional dependencies. We become emotional regarding some aspects of our lives, and thus, we get stuck. Maybe we don't want to admit that we've made a mistake, because, emotionally, we believe we will lose the love we have been given. At least, that's what I felt. But, as soon as I started to admit, to myself that, I am flawed, I make a lot of mistakes, I get angry without any reasons, ..., that was the moment I could finally understand what I had to change. Well, sometimes seeing yourself as you really are, may be a very hard thing to do, because, honestly, you may not know yourself. But there are people who do know you, and you must ask them things about yourself, needing to be open minded, be ready to accept the reality, and hear thing that maybe aren't so kind. Think about it, you may know when a friend is hiding something from you, or something is wrong, even though, that friends says he/she is ok. That's why it is extremely important to ask your close friends to tell you the truth about yourself, they see it sometimes, more clear than you do.

The second step to adapting to reality, is to accept reality.

With the risk of repeating myself, accepting may seem the same to you as becoming aware of your flaws or problems. But it has a deeper meaning than that, accepting means being content with the situation at hand. It means letting go of our emotional tie-ups to the situation and just be ok with the things as they are at that certain moment in time. For example, am conscious that I am putting enough work in, but if I don't accept this, I will never be able to truly change so that I will put the work in.

Accepting does not really concern logic or reason, but our emotional intelligence. If you don't accept things emotionally as much as logically, you will be stuck.

The third step, is to work with what we've got, in the circumstances that we are in.

After doing the first two steps, after becoming conscious of reality and accepting it, again, the second step refers more to emotional intelligence, we are ready to start doing the things we need to do in order to get the best result. One of the best things I've learned about dealing with reality, is that, I only see a small fraction of it, and so does everyone I meet, thus, the best thing to do to extend my view of reality, is to ask question to credible people. Credible people are people who already did what I want to do and, who have a logical explanation to why the did what they did. They will give me their input on the situation and thus, my image and understanding of how things work grows. Because of this input I have received I will be more able to come up with a strategy to help me get what I, firstly, can from the situation and secondly want from it.

Now let's just summarize everything we have gone through .

We must accept reality and deal with it. We do this by adapting.

And adapting depends on: 1. Being conscious of the way things are 2. Accepting the way things are (on a emotional level) 3. Action, taking action of doing the best with what we've got and asking for advice from credible people that could give us some precious insides. I will come back with another post that will adress the third step separately.

As always, I just want to thank you for your time. I hope you find this article helpful and I wish you the very best, bye bye :))) .